No-one Takes Away My Chip Pan

Dronfield Fire Station

In case you haven’t heard (you probably haven’t, you’re not very well informed, oh yeah, and you need a haircut), the Dronfield Fire Station is potentially being shut down. This has prompted waves of hysteria across S18; people have made a facebook group, a campaign poster, an online petition and, well, that’s it really.

If, like me, you like to leave your chip-pan on while you go out, or fall asleep while smoking, or start little fires because the voices won’t go away, you have to do all that you can to stop the closure of the fire station. On Monday the 7th of October, there is a town council meeting, I implore all of you to find your shiniest pitchfork, brightest flame torch, most lynch-tastic lynching rope and smallest small town mentality and march upon the high street hand-in-hand, shoulder-to-shoulder or just turn up and speak rather candidly about how absurd it is to close the fire station.

I have been unreliably informed (and I mean VERY unreliably informed) that if Dronfield Fire Station was closed and my cat was stuck up a tree, or that arsonist from two doors down decides to have another pop at me, I would have to wait an extra 15 minutes at best before an underpaid public servant (or potentially, underpaid paid volunteer) would turn up. This is something I am not willing to let happen. I have absolutely no control over my cat, it comes and goes at it pleases and most of the time treats me with contempt, and the the arsonist from down the road is acting especially volatile ever since I  added his wife on facebook, he could strike any day now. It’s not my fault she has that profile picture, as if I’m not going to add her?!

If you would like to find out more about the campaign, head over to the Save Your Fire Station campaign page.

If you would like to sign the petition, which you should really do out of moral duty anyway, here is the link.

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