Despite trying for months now, Dronfield Digital has been forced to admit they are only the 2nd largest media source in Dronfield as reports of Dronfield Eye’s popularity are confirmed, when someone touched them with a barge-pole.
For years people have said they ‘wouldn’t touch them with a barge pole’ in case their lack of journalistic-integrity rubbed off on them by osmosis. This was true until last Tuesday, when the barge-pole-based-ban broke when a man briefly touched them with the aforementioned pole.
Dronfield Eye, Dronfield’s most well-respected Dronfield-based local publication with the word ‘Eye’ in the title, has long since held a monopoly in the Dronfield media market before the emergence of Dronfield Digital. They have refused to comment, it is believed they are busy replicating last months edition of their popular(?) printed publication, changing the cover photo and passing it off as another exciting(?) edition of Dronfield’s favorite(?) read.
Dronfield Digital’s Editor-in-chief, Gareth, admitted, “We just can’t keep up the pretense anymore. We’re about half as credible. Sure, we may have a decent readership, an engaging online presence, fan mail and people don’t deface copies of our magazines after a few drinks in the pub. They top trump us 9 times out of 10 in credibility and profitability.” A self-proclaimed, ‘Dronfield Eye fanatic’, Gareth has collected the Dronfield Eye for over a year, with 12 copies in his collection, and hopes to collect more in the future.
Word through the wire of Dronfield Eye’s plans to storm online media with a brand new web based-publication, twitter profile and facebook page have shook Dronfield to it’s very core. “I’m not sure I’m ready for this, if I’m honest”, a local man told us, “It’s almost like Christmas but less exciting and without mince pies!”
Other areas Dronfield Eye are reported to be in the research and developments stages of:
- Dronfield Rye. A rye based bread snack in the shape of the Peel Monument; A healthy breakfast alternative to bread.
- Dronfield Thigh. A tasteful adult magazine, showing Dronfield’s many middle-aged babes like you’ve never seen them before.
- Dronfield Why? A radio phone-in, question-and-answer show with deep philosophical talks regarding all things Dronfield.
We will keep you posted with updates.