Dronfield

Grand Theft Auto Dronfield

GTA Dronfield

With all the excitement/buzz/hype surrounding the GTA V release, I decided to lay out reasons why Rockstar Games should make GTA Dronfield, and not because I already had a stock image of a GTA Dronfield game cover.

The Map:

The best thing about GTA – apart from shooting innocent bystanders in the head with a sniper – is the map. Unfortunately, learning a new map takes time and obviously makes it more difficult when you’re trying to lose the fuzz. In Dronfield that wouldn’t be a problem, you would be thinking, “I can lose them down Mill Lane, I need to get to Dronny Bottom quick”.

Wanted Stars:

Everyone who has ever played GTA knows that wanted stars are just inconvenient, they make game play irritating after only a minor killing spree; the insignificantly small and unreliable Police force in Dronfield means wanted stars would be a thing of the past. 5 Stars? What are they going to do, send out their best man with a fly swat on a bicycle, don’t worry son, you go rob that Hot Dog kart at the Civic Centre.

Variety of cars:

You’re not going to get a sweet Lamborghini or a B F Injection (remember those, ah yeah!) but there are some nice vehicles knocking around that would be worth stealing in a virtual environment. Just remember for each nice car there are 100 Volvo’s with children’s toys littered over the back-seats. If you’re robbing a Volvo on a game you deserve a real life prison sentence for this because you’re certifiably insane.

Missions:

Admit it, you’re bored of gangland shootings and delivering big shipments of drugs for Mexican cartels, you want to shot small bags of grass from a push bike. Well, there would be lots of small time crimes like this in GTA Dronfield, much like there is in real-world Dronfield.  Get excited.

Weapons:

You’re not going to need an RPG, so let’s forget about that. Uzi, why would you want an Uzi? I propose the only weapons you would need in GTA Dronfield would be a rolled-up newspaper and a grimacing stare whilst shouting the words “You what mate?!” Nobody would try anything.

Unstone/Jordonthorpe/Lowedges:

Although these places are like GTA already, you could go there in a virtual environment, without any risk of going to hospital following a fatal shooting, unlike in real life. I imagine these places would be hot-spots for finding weapons, safe-houses and  spray-shops.

 

Example game cover.

Example game cover.

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