Are you single? Are you from Dronfield? Are you intolerably lonely? Are you mid-40s, divorced and tired of making crude jokes towards your son’s friends after a few drinks? Are you getting a little bored of cats? Dronfield Dating is for you.
Online dating isn’t creepy anymore, it’s a multi-million pound industry and here at Dronfield Dating we’re cashing in on it. Dating is about meeting new people, admittedly in Dronfield it’s a little tough, but we advise you take advantage of looking at pictures of your wive’s friends from 10 years ago.
Dating Do: Your Homework
Ladies: You don’t know this person and it’s important you know they aren’t an axe-murderer or own a Skoda. Before you meet the potential headache of your dreams, Dronfield Dating recommends snooping around.
Fellas: Make sure she’s got a bit of money.
Dating Don’t: Over or under dress
Ladies: You don’t want to look desperate (which is near impossible because you’ve met them online), so don’t let them know how easy you are. Wear something that says ”I’m not as easy as you think I am.”
Fellas: Let women worry about how they look, after all, she’s probably desperate (because you’ve met them online).
Dating Do: Choose a public place for your date
Ladies: You don’t want to end up on the front page of The Star. Choose somewhere public, Dronfield Digital recommends somewhere you’re not going to bump into your ex-husband while he’s out with Tina. Tina is younger than you by 7 years and she’s got a lot more going for her, it’s going to be upsetting and you don’t want to end up eating ice-cream all day tomorrow feeling sorry for yourself again.
Fellas: Women can be erratic at times, as soon as you start talking about ‘going for a nice midnight stroll up the Moors’, they are going to start thinking you want to murder them. Make sure to take your date out to somewhere you won’t see someone you know, except maybe your ex-wife.
Dating Don’t: Discuss the ex
Ladies: As soon as you start talking about the ex, he’s going to want out, and frankly, you don’t have much going for you. Keep conversation away from the ex.
Fellas: If you start talking about how bad your ex is, she’s going to get the idea she’s something special and nobody likes people getting ideas above their station. You have to keep a lid on these things.
Dating Do: Listen
Ladies: It’s important to listen because you’ll be able to work out if he’s a loser or not. If you hear him say things like ‘middle-management at ASDA’ or ‘court case following abuse allegations’, this is the time to leave.
Fellas: Drink a little if it helps, but you’re going to have to at least pretend to listen, the last thing you want to do is end up talking about your Skoda, your job at ASDA or the abuse allegations, let her guide the conversation.