Birkfest 2015: There isn’t a better charity music festival


Birkfest 2015 is a charity music festival organised by the Birks’ family, on their country estate in Middle Handley. Tons of live acts. A spit roast (the meat kind). Alcoholic drinks. Good causes. Laughs. Also, miscellaneous related activities.

The last time I went to Birkfest I remember it was whilst Wimbledon was on (July 2013, I think) and David Cameron was pictured wearing some terribly unsuited sunglasses in a suit. I remember thinking, “Wow, that’s a man with a haircut you can set your watch by. I’m voting for his party in 2015.” He was wearing a suit and looking like he wasn’t even sweating. I was wearing brown corduroy trousers which made me sweat a lot. In fact, I’m pretty sure I binned them afterwards. I guess what I’m trying to say is the weather was nice, really nice.

david cameron

Wow, what an electable man on the telly!

The mandatory entrance fee of £10 goes towards a great cause, so don’t be such a tight arse about it. I’m not sure what charity or charities because I haven’t done my research but it’s not like there’s any bad charities out there. It’s not going towards the IRA or something daft like that, it’s probably helping kids or animals or something like that. One of the good ones, definitely. 

The tinny bar

The tinny bar

Now I’m a man who likes many things: steak dinners, smoking cigarettes after a few beers, and the company of teenage boys. But, there’s nothing I like more than a tinny bar, and I mean seriously. I look at tinned larger as a substitute for one of the major food groups, like vegetables or peanuts. The kind of stuff you only eat in public unless you can avoid it. Anyway, at the Birkfest tinny bar all are tins so cold they are uncomfortable to the touch, the way God and the Red Stripe brewery intended them to be (the crazy Jamaican buggers). Because of the relative cheap price of tinned beer they have a competitive element to them, how many is too many? Let’s find out.

The author with local ladykiller Ray Keddy

The author with local ladykiller (acquitted) Ray Keddy

As you might expect for the splendidly songful Birks’ family (and the ‘fest’ in their namesake), there’s loads of music. The kind you can dance to, the kind you can sit down on a summer day to, the kind you can drink to. And if you’re really up for it, the kind you can sing to in the face of a strange to show what a great time you’re probably having. What do you care anymore, you’ve got giddy on the tinny bar, you’ve eaten a footlong hotdog, you’ve got mustard down your front and this is YOUR JAM right now! Ain’t nobody going to stop you from grooving. Uptown funk is indeed going to give it to you, whether you like it or not.

On the day there will be a charity auction with some superb ‘money can’t buy’ prizes to be had.

With all that out of the way. It’s time for the hard-hitting stuff, the stuff that matters. The big questions. The whens, the whos, the whats, that why, the hows; The what were you doing on the night of the fifth?

Sunday July 12th, 2pm – 10pm.
Westfield House, S21 5RY.

This is an adult gig and unfortunately children under the age of 13 years cannot be admitted.

You can find the facebook page for Birkfest 2015 here.

Check it out. Go down. Drink some beer. Eat some food. Donate to a good cause.

If anyone feels they can help or sponsor the cause, or would like further information please contact Andy Birks on at adbirks.birks@gmail.com or via Facebook

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