Dronfield

50th Article Spectacular

Dronfield Online

Like all publishers, I want to exploit my content for all it is worth so you can tell your friends how funny the website is, how you wish you could write things like this but don’t have the time, can’t write very well or you’re maybe not egocentric enough to bother. Either way, it has come to our 50th* Article since we started publishing in early May.

Top 10 Articles:

1) DRONFIELD’S POTTY TOURIST ATTRACTION SET TO BOOST ECONOMY

“There is nothing more tedious than reading about disgruntled motorists complaining about pot holes in the road. However, in an unlikely turn of events this antagonist of the A-road is set to put Dronfield on the map….”

2) 6 THINGS DRONFIELD NEEDS

The first in Jonny Burton’s series of 6 Things, he explains why  we need a 24 hour Co-op, a youth fashion retailer, a Starbucks, a Wetherspoons, a Maccys and a cocktail bar.

3) 6 QUINTESSENTIALLY DRONFIELD THINGS

The second in Jonny Burton’s series of 6 Things, he explains what makes Dronfield what it is, he covers: Sledging, the Telly Tubby Hills, the Wok Wonder £2.30 special, the 43 bus and finally, the Peel Monument.

4) A HARD-HITTING GUIDE TO PLACES THAT MATTER

Robert Carolgees delivers his own brand of  ‘spite-ridden, angst laced commentaries’. In this article he focuses on The Three Tuns pub, local bistro Vrons, the Coach and Horses pub, Dronfield Gym, Little Italy and an analysis of what shopping bag to take to Aldi.

5) NEW “QUAD-DECKER” BUS TO BE TRIALED

A satirical look at reducing Dronfield’s carbon-footprint. Following the publishing of this article, people actually sent messages asking us if this was genuine, it wasn’t.

6) RUSS DENNETT ON DRONFIELD MUSIC

Local music aficionado Russ Dennett wrote about Dronfield’s thriving music scene. I can only assume this is the 6th most read article because a surprising amount of people Google him.

7) APPERKNOWLE: THE GATEWAY TO DRONFIELD

‘The region’s last attempt at a gateway to skies didn’t so much take off as crash land in a flaming ball of despair.  Sheffield’s airport was a disappointment for many lager-swilling, English breakfast feasting, Manor-estate-arians, who had long yearned for an easy route out to “Napa”’.

 8) DRONFIELD NATURE PARK: NOT QUITE AS NATURE INTENDED

George Hurt takes a look at Dronfield Nature Park, with classic lines such as, ‘Where better to admire the abundant wildlife than our idyllic nature park? You know the one; in between the industrial estate and main road/railway line, near the pungent water treatment plant.’

9) DRONFIELD DELIVERY OFFICE: WHERE POST GOES TO DIE.

The story of one man just trying to get hold of the Sonic Screwdriver he bought from Amazon. I can’t help but think in hindsight I was quite harsh on the frankly amateur staff at Dronfield Delivery Office because every time I want to buy something from Amazon, I get nervous thinking it might go there and I’ll be berated by the staff.

10) DRONFIELD’S CRACKING SOLUTION TO SUBSTANCE MISUSE

‘News that the rapper Snoop Dogg (recently re-branded as Snoop Lion), has recently purchased a house in the Hill Top area of Dronfield has sent shock-waves through the town’s community, making a certain 60’s pop star who resides in the hill-top area seem like a thing of the past, a washed-up has-been.’

 

BIG THANKS to everyone who has submitted content. Lots of people are too ashamed to affix their names to articles because libel laws are intimidating, so I will only name the people who want to be named:

So, thank you to (in order of contribution): Jack Spivey, Jamie Shipston, Millie Murdoch, Will North, Jonny Burton, Jon Beasley, Jack Roe, James Williamson, James Kirk, Russ Dennett, George Hurt, Benita, Bob Carolgees, Ashley JacquesLuke Prest and anyone else I have solidly pestered. – Yes, a surprising number of people contribute and yes, at least half of their names start with J.

 

*The few astute ones of you will notice this is actually the 52nd article and not the 50th, this is because I buggered it up massively.

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